Your clique. The squad. Your ride or die. Your person. The inner circle of your life. Whether this group consists of family, friends, or some combination of the two, everyone has somebody that they trust closely. When someone within your circle breaks your trust or acts out in a way that hurts you, it can result in betrayal trauma. The level of this trauma depends on how significant the circumstances are. It is also influenced by how necessary a role a person plays in your life.
different Types of Betrayal Trauma
Parental or childhood betrayal trauma
Parental or childhood betrayal trauma results from a parent or caregiver causing harm. When the person you depend on to meet your basic, daily needs fails to protect you, it can leave a deep wound. You may find yourself turning a blind eye to the situation in order to maintain the parental relationship, even in adulthood. Remember: neglect, chaotic environments, parentification, and other disregulating experiences are also trauma.
Partner betrayal trauma
Partner betrayal trauma stems from someone you are intimate with causing emotional distress. It can occur when your partner is having an affair. It can even be related to an emotional connection developed between your partner and another person. Infidelity isn’t the only action; it could also look like financial betrayal, social isolation, gaslighting, or any other experience that overwhelms your ability to cope with it.
Interpersonal betrayal trauma
Interpersonal betrayal trauma occurs when a close friend or trusted individual in your life betrays your trust. This often can look like gossip, or acting out of jealousy. However it can also look like not repairing after a conflict, ghosting you, holding you accountable without getting your feedback, and more.
Institutional betrayal trauma
Institutional betrayal trauma ensues when an institution acts in a manner that is contradictory to the image they portray. It can also occur when an institution fails to protect a victim or whistleblower in a given situation. Such systems can include healthcare, schools, corporations, or even the government.
Betrayal Trauma in Difficult Situations
Betrayal trauma can be complex due to the person completing the violating act. If this is someone you rely on, it may be hard to walk away from them. It can create a rock and hard place type of situation where the lesser of two evils is to endure it. There may be factors like children which impact your ability to leave. You may have nowhere else to go causing you to feel the need to stay in the unhealthy relationship. It may even be due to financial reasons that you cannot leave. It is possible that you may not even be fully aware it is happening. Sometimes it is hard to see all the flags from within the relationship. If you have a gut feeling that something isn’t right, it could indicate trauma.
Symptoms that you are experiencing BETRAYAL TRAUMA: What Does Betrayal Trauma Feel Like?
Any type of trauma can have a physiological impact on the person experiencing it. Betrayal trauma may be more deeply rooted. This can present as body aches, headaches, stomach aches, chronic gastrointestinal issues, poor sleep habits, and even chronic fatigue. It is also highly likely to impact mental health in a number of different ways. Anxiety can develop and carry over into present and future relationships. The fear of betrayal happening again with someone new can be overwhelming. Oftentimes depression can go hand in hand with that anxiety.
Depending on the level of the betrayal, dissociation can manifest. You may find yourself feeling dulled emotions or no emotions to protect yourself. This can create a fog-like presence which is unhealthy for other aspects of life. Over time, these effects can snowball into longer-term mental and physical health issues if unaddressed. Escalating trust issues can interfere with your ability to grow in other areas and with other relationships. The damaging effects are nothing to brush off.
important thing to remember
In some, this may present as nightmares, eating disorders, substance abuse, or even suicidal ideation. An important thing to remember here is that the trauma is not your fault, but you can take responsibility for your healing. Contact us for a consultation to work through these issues today.
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