The phrase “trauma-informed” is being thrown around all over the internet, but what does it actually mean?

Being trauma-informed goes beyond simply acknowledging the existence of trauma and its effects on mental health. Trauma-informed therapy is an actual approach to care that revolves around specific core principles. What a skilled therapist does with those principles, and how they implement them in the therapy room, will vary.

How we generate trust, safety, choice, collaboration and empowerment for our clients depends on what you have experienced in the past and what you might need now. (It’s those. Those are the principles.) This involves a deliberate and thoughtful approach to therapy that influences every choice we make as a therapist, both in session and when setting up our practice.

If you’re seeking therapy or if you’re a therapist yourself, it’s crucial to understand this concept so that you know how therapy works — and if it’s working for you.

Getting to know yourself and learning how your brain works can be a tricky journey, especially when it comes to neurodivergent experiences like ADHD. There is so much information online, but it’s hard to tell what’s a trustworthy source, and some sources seem to directly contradict others, making it quickly overwhelming. If you find yourself wondering, "How do I know if I have ADHD? Do I need to see a professional or can I diagnose myself?" this post is for you, written from a neurodiversity-affirming perspective.

It’s 2024- even on a good day, there’s a lot to feel anxious about. There’s the big picture: global warming, pandemic, human rights violations, inflation, uncertain job futures- and that’s not even considering individual stressors like difficult jobs or strained relationships.

We all feel anxiety sometimes and we all have different ways to cope with it. For some of us, we like to get a little spendy: enter doom spending. Whether it's impulsively buying items online or constantly seeking comfort in retail therapy, doom spending can become a harmful coping mechanism. In this post, we'll explore the connection between anxiety and doom spending, and more importantly, discuss healthy coping strategies to break free from this cycle.

Stimming, short for self-stimulatory behavior, is a term commonly associated with neurodivergent individuals, including ADHD and autistic adults.

But what is it, actually? And- does it serve a purpose?

By de-pathologizing and normalizing stimming, we can better understand its benefits for the nervous system and overall mental health. It’s super important to support/encourage stimming for those who find it helpful, and explore how affirming therapists can support ADHD adults in various aspects of their lives.

You may be familiar with the term Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). It’s not gender dysphoria or being a highly sensitive person. If you spend any time on mental health channels on social media, you know these words can all start to sound the same.

What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is an emotional response to the perception of rejection or criticism, which can be more intense for individuals with ADHD or certain neurodivergent traits.

It goes without saying, then, that RSD can have a huge impact on relationships. It can manifest as hypersensitivity, fear of abandonment, and emotional volatility. Unfortunately, these can easily be confused with attachment issues, personality disorders, even abuse. It is crucial for partners to recognize that RSD is not a character flaw but a neurobiological response.

Rejection sensitive dysphoria can significantly impact relationships, causing emotional turmoil and strained connections. However, with understanding, communication, and a few proactive strategies, managing RSD within your relationship is possible.

Deciding whether or not to pursue a divorce is a deeply personal and often difficult decision. You may get conflicting messages from friends, family and even yourself. And most of those people don’t have to live with your decision.

Plus, you and your spouse may also be processing the grief of losing the marriage you thought you had, possible anxiety and depression from living in an unhappy relationship for an extended period of time, and even possibly some relational trauma from ongoing conflicts that have taken their toll.

So when people have opinions about your marriage, it can be especially stressful.

It’s understandable that you may vacillate between feeling like couples therapy is something you must do, and wanting to avoid looking too closely at this painful topic.

Fortunately, couples therapists are equipped with the skills and expertise to guide you through this challenging process. A couples therapist can assist you in making an informed decision about divorce. By working collaboratively with a therapist, you can gain clarity, explore your options, and ultimately find the path that is right for you and your relationship.

And when you choose a private practice therapist, it’s all done privately. No sharing your data with large companies and no sending records to insurance. I’m just saying.

Every time I take an informal poll on my social media, I get the same response. Middle kids have it worst. Youngest kids have it worst. Eldest kids have it worst.

Once in a while, someone will acknowledge that a different sibling has it hardest in the family. It’s usually the middle child making the concession.

Birth order has a great potential impacton our well-being and relationships not only within the family - but these same dynamics can play out in any group or organization we’re a part of. Those organizations are also a great opportunity to rewrite some of the narratives that have followed us from childhood.

Neurodivergent refers to individuals whose neurological development and functioning are atypical, differing from what society considers as "typical.”

It’s important to note that while the word “normal” is a misnomer, what it literally means is that society is “normed” on this one experience. So the neurotypical experience and way of thinking and operating is considered the mainstream, and anyone who differs (which is a lot, if not most of us) is rarely considered.

ADHD falls under this category as it involves a variety of differences in attention, impulse control, and hyperactivity. It's important to remember that neurodivergent conditions like ADHD come with a unique set of strengths and challenges, and embracing neurodiversity promotes inclusivity and understanding.

I think therapists forget how hard it is for the average person to find and select a therapist.

We spend a lot of our time with colleagues. We have a strong network of therapists we refer to and trust. Many of us even have our own therapist with whom we are in regular contact.

The average person, however, doesn’t know where to start, what to ask, or even where to look. That is, if therapists even return their calls.

(Side note: At Prospect Therapy we make every effort to get back to you within 3 business days at the most, often sooner. Weekends don’t count.)

In many respects, private therapy practices are the Rolls Royce of mental health care.

I don’t mean slow moving and reserved for old money. Although it can be that.

What I mean is, somewhere along the way, having a private, dedicated therapist available to you became a luxury.

With insurance rates getting higher and coverage getting lower, with big tech companies leaking protected health information and client data, and with mental health apps trying to use chat features and guided meditations to replace a therapeutic relationship, private practice can seem like a clunky, expensive option.

And with all the choices available now, it may not be the option for you.

By understanding the advantages of private practice, individuals can make informed decisions to support their mental health journey. Let's delve into the valuable reasons why private practice psychotherapy services provide a secure and confidential environment for your personal growth.

Eldest daughters often play a crucial role as cultural bridges and caretakers within their families, which can lead to unique challenges and pressures that impact their mental well-being.

The specific mental health concerns experienced by eldest daughters in immigrant families is often treated as the punchline of a familiar joke. And yes, it can be funny. (If we didn’t laugh, we might cry.)

But I also want to discuss how tailored therapy can provide my fellow eldest daughters with essential support and tools to navigate these challenges. After ten years of providing therapy, as well as being in my own therapy as an eldest daughter, these are some of the common experiences I’ve witnessed.