Sara Stanizai
The Art of Conscious Uncoupling: A Therapeutic ...

by Andrew Kravig, LMFT.

In the aftermath of romantic attachment, we often imagine only rupture: the slammed doors, the silence, the fragments of ourselves left scattered in the emotional debris. But, what if the end of a relationship was not a failure, but an evolution? What if the way we part ways became as intentional and compassionate as the way we came together?

Conscious uncoupling is not simply a trend or a softer word for divorce—it is a philosophy of ending that respects the bond once shared. It is the courageous act of turning toward the pain with curiosity rather than blame, with integrity rather than vindication. As a therapist, I have sat with couples in the throes of heartbreak and also with those choosing to close their relationship with care. And I’ve come to believe that how we end matters as much as how we begin.

The Art of Conscious Uncoupling: A Therapeutic Guide to Ending with Intention
depression
Sara Stanizai
It’s So Beatable: Three Lessons I Learned About ...

by Tiffany Hooton, LMFT

If you’ve ever played Dark Souls, you know it’s a franchise that carries a reputation for its punishing bosses, bleak atmosphere, and environmental storytelling. Players new to the series find themselves facing defeat at every turn. The world of Lordran feels hostile and desolate. Everything wants to kill you, even the environment itself. Because, as seasoned players know, the real boss is gravity. The story is fragmented. Progress is slow and grueling.

So why do people like this game so much? True, there are fans who are in it for bragging rights, who want to make the game seem as difficult and as inaccessible as possible to new players in order to bolster their gamer egos. But there’s more to it than that. For many others, there is a genuine pleasure taken in meeting the challenges the game presents, and it’s in those challenges that I’ve found the greatest meaning.

Of course, I don’t mean to suggest that video games are a cure for mental health struggles; however, like any work of art, games can reflect life back at us in sometimes surprising ways. And, as someone who’s worked closely with depression and has, at times, struggled with it personally, I found that the mindset I developed while playing Dark Souls was useful for more than just beating bosses.

It’s So Beatable: Three Lessons I Learned About Navigating Depression from Dark Souls
self-esteem
Sara Stanizai
When Is It Time to Go No-Contact with a Toxic ...

by Andrew Kravig, LMFT.

For many people, family is a source of love, support, and belonging. But what happens when your family of origin—parents, siblings, or extended relatives—becomes a persistent source of pain, chaos, or emotional harm? The idea of going no-contact can feel drastic, even taboo. Yet, for some, it’s a necessary step toward healing and reclaiming personal peace.

When Is It Time to Go No-Contact with a Toxic Family of Origin?
couples therapy
Sara Stanizai
Brave Love: Telling Your Family You're in a ...

By Andrew Kravig, LMFT.

 

Okay, where to begin?! Let’s start with this: Leaning into vulnerability isn’t comfortable, but it’s where courage is born.

When you’re preparing to tell your family you’re in a polyamorous relationship, you're not just sharing a fact about your love life. You’re sharing something deeply personal, layered, and likely misunderstood. Something about who you are as a person and how you understand your place in the world. And that means vulnerability will have to walk hand in hand with this conversation.

But here’s what I know: Authenticity is a practice. And living wholeheartedly means choosing to show up, even when there are no guarantees. So, let’s let go of certainty, and see what vulnerable authenticity can offer us.

Here are some things to keep in mind as you approach this conversation.

Brave Love: Telling Your Family You're in a Polyamorous Relationship
anxiety
Sara Stanizai
Hello Kitty: How I learned DBT from One ...

By Brianna Patti, LMFT.

My Instagram feed lovingly (read: rudely) reminded me that July 23, 2025 was the 15-year anniversary of the formation of One Direction. Coincidentally, I had come across my collection of CDs a few months prior and noticed that I never purchased their final album, Made in the A.M. (2015), because the eight-month-old wound of Zayn’s departure was still too fresh at the time. I decided it was finally time to include this fifth album to my collection, sans our beloved fifth boy.

While I waited for the CD to arrive, I started playing their old albums again. I popped Up All Night into my Hello Kitty boombox (easily my best eBay purchase ever), and I nearly burst into tears when I heard the late Liam Payne sing the first line of the opening track. Suddenly, I was a teenager finding solace in the harmonies sung by other teenagers. This emotional time travel helped me return to a time when music, fandoms, and daydreams softened the edges of my reality. 

I know I’m not alone when I say that my adolescence was rocky, and my favorite boy band offered me a temporary sense of safety. I’d describe their music as a kind of emotional scaffolding— something to hold onto when everything else felt unsteady. Their music didn’t fix anything, but it made me feel less alone, and sometimes that was enough. As a therapist, I’d like to share what I’m noticing about the benefits of diving into this kind of nostalgia.

Hello Kitty: How I learned DBT from One Direction

The Art of Conscious Uncoupling: A Therapeutic Guide to Ending with Intention

The Art of Conscious Uncoupling: A Therapeutic Guide to Ending with Intention

by Andrew Kravig, LMFT.

In the aftermath of romantic attachment, we often imagine only rupture: the slammed doors, the silence, the fragments of ourselves left scattered in the emotional debris. But, what if the end of a relationship was not a failure, but an evolution? What if the way we part ways became as intentional and compassionate as the way we came together?

Conscious uncoupling is not simply a trend or a softer word for divorce—it is a philosophy of ending that respects the bond once shared. It is the courageous act of turning toward the pain with curiosity rather than blame, with integrity rather than vindication. As a therapist, I have sat with couples in the throes of heartbreak and also with those choosing to close their relationship with care. And I’ve come to believe that how we end matters as much as how we begin.

It’s So Beatable: Three Lessons I Learned About Navigating Depression from Dark Souls

It’s So Beatable: Three Lessons I Learned About Navigating Depression from Dark Souls

by Tiffany Hooton, LMFT

If you’ve ever played Dark Souls, you know it’s a franchise that carries a reputation for its punishing bosses, bleak atmosphere, and environmental storytelling. Players new to the series find themselves facing defeat at every turn. The world of Lordran feels hostile and desolate. Everything wants to kill you, even the environment itself. Because, as seasoned players know, the real boss is gravity. The story is fragmented. Progress is slow and grueling.

So why do people like this game so much? True, there are fans who are in it for bragging rights, who want to make the game seem as difficult and as inaccessible as possible to new players in order to bolster their gamer egos. But there’s more to it than that. For many others, there is a genuine pleasure taken in meeting the challenges the game presents, and it’s in those challenges that I’ve found the greatest meaning.

Of course, I don’t mean to suggest that video games are a cure for mental health struggles; however, like any work of art, games can reflect life back at us in sometimes surprising ways. And, as someone who’s worked closely with depression and has, at times, struggled with it personally, I found that the mindset I developed while playing Dark Souls was useful for more than just beating bosses.

When Is It Time to Go No-Contact with a Toxic Family of Origin?

When Is It Time to Go No-Contact with a Toxic Family of Origin?

by Andrew Kravig, LMFT.

For many people, family is a source of love, support, and belonging. But what happens when your family of origin—parents, siblings, or extended relatives—becomes a persistent source of pain, chaos, or emotional harm? The idea of going no-contact can feel drastic, even taboo. Yet, for some, it’s a necessary step toward healing and reclaiming personal peace.

Brave Love: Telling Your Family You're in a Polyamorous Relationship

Brave Love: Telling Your Family You're in a Polyamorous Relationship

By Andrew Kravig, LMFT.

 

Okay, where to begin?! Let’s start with this: Leaning into vulnerability isn’t comfortable, but it’s where courage is born.

When you’re preparing to tell your family you’re in a polyamorous relationship, you're not just sharing a fact about your love life. You’re sharing something deeply personal, layered, and likely misunderstood. Something about who you are as a person and how you understand your place in the world. And that means vulnerability will have to walk hand in hand with this conversation.

But here’s what I know: Authenticity is a practice. And living wholeheartedly means choosing to show up, even when there are no guarantees. So, let’s let go of certainty, and see what vulnerable authenticity can offer us.

Here are some things to keep in mind as you approach this conversation.

Hello Kitty: How I learned DBT from One Direction

Hello Kitty: How I learned DBT from One Direction

By Brianna Patti, LMFT.

My Instagram feed lovingly (read: rudely) reminded me that July 23, 2025 was the 15-year anniversary of the formation of One Direction. Coincidentally, I had come across my collection of CDs a few months prior and noticed that I never purchased their final album, Made in the A.M. (2015), because the eight-month-old wound of Zayn’s departure was still too fresh at the time. I decided it was finally time to include this fifth album to my collection, sans our beloved fifth boy.

While I waited for the CD to arrive, I started playing their old albums again. I popped Up All Night into my Hello Kitty boombox (easily my best eBay purchase ever), and I nearly burst into tears when I heard the late Liam Payne sing the first line of the opening track. Suddenly, I was a teenager finding solace in the harmonies sung by other teenagers. This emotional time travel helped me return to a time when music, fandoms, and daydreams softened the edges of my reality. 

I know I’m not alone when I say that my adolescence was rocky, and my favorite boy band offered me a temporary sense of safety. I’d describe their music as a kind of emotional scaffolding— something to hold onto when everything else felt unsteady. Their music didn’t fix anything, but it made me feel less alone, and sometimes that was enough. As a therapist, I’d like to share what I’m noticing about the benefits of diving into this kind of nostalgia.

How to Socialize and Make Friends: Dealing with Loneliness and Finding Ways to Foster Connection in the LGBTQ+ Community

How to Socialize and Make Friends: Dealing with Loneliness and Finding Ways to Foster Connection in the LGBTQ+ Community

By Tiffany Hooton, LMFT.

Does it ever feel like people are just… lonelier? Depending on your algorithm, it seems like we can’t go more than a few days without hearing the words “male loneliness epidemic,” tossed around (sometimes sincerely, sometimes not), across articles, podcasts, and social media. Online commentators warn of the growing “atomization” of society. You could probably fill a bingo card with all the buzzwords floating around this conversation. But glib remarks aside, there’s something real behind the noise. Our social lives have changed, and for many, that’s meant a growing sense of disconnection and weakened community ties. And, though the media loves to center the struggle of white cishet men, this is a trend which extends far beyond those narrow boundaries of gender and sexuality.

Navigating Gender Norms in LGBTQ+ Relationships: How Couples Therapy Can Help

Navigating Gender Norms in LGBTQ+ Relationships: How Couples Therapy Can Help

By Tiffany Hooton, LMFT.

In today’s world, many queer couples are creating relationships that challenge traditional gender roles and expectations. However, even the most liberated among us can still struggle with shaking off the unconscious pressure of societal norms that creep into our relationships. Whether it's about who initiates intimacy, managing household tasks, gender presentation, or covert expectations around emotional expression. As a result, these unspoken scripts about how people "should" behave in relationships can lead to confusion, tension, or misunderstandings that leave partners feeling frustrated, especially when we don’t realize they’re there. That’s why exploring how these norms impact LGBTQ+ partnerships can be so important (and why couples therapy can be a powerful space for healing, connection, and growth). 

A Pep Talk for Days When Therapy is a Struggle

A Pep Talk for Days When Therapy is a Struggle

by Andrew Kravig.

Starting therapy is a brave decision. It means you're choosing to face challenges head-on, work through pain, and seek a healthier, more fulfilling life. But anyone who’s been in therapy knows—it’s not always easy. Real growth takes time, and two of the most important ingredients in that process are committing to do the work and consistency.

We live in a world that rewards quick fixes, fast results, instant gratification, and “life hacks.” But therapy doesn’t work that way. It’s not about getting answers overnight. It’s about learning to understand yourself, change patterns that don’t serve you, and build a more solid foundation for the future. That takes time, and it takes effort. The progress you make may be slow at times, but that doesn’t mean it’s not working.

Why We Procrastinate (And How to Outsmart Ourselves)

Why We Procrastinate (And How to Outsmart Ourselves)

by Tiffany Hooton, LMFT.

Let’s be honest: if procrastination were an Olympic sport, most of us would be gold medalists. We all know the drill—you sit down to write that report due tomorrow, and suddenly, it’s absolutely essential to clean out your sock drawer, reorganize your spice rack, doomscroll,  and check if your cat needs a new Instagram post. Sound familiar?

Procrastination is a sneaky beast. It wears many disguises and often pretends to be “taking a break” or “waiting for the right moment.” But the truth is, it usually ends with us waiting until the eleventh hour, muttering regrets into a cup of stale coffee, or, worse, feeling crappy about ourselves, squashed under the weight of our own anxiety.

So why do we put ourselves through this Sisyphean torture? And more importantly, how can we do something different? Let’s take a look at some of the biggest culprits behind procrastination, and how to fight back (without defenestrating your laptop, or yourself, in the process).

Holding Steady: A Trans Man’s Guide to Navigating Uncertain Times

Holding Steady: A Trans Man’s Guide to Navigating Uncertain Times

By Andrew Kravig

 

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably looked around lately and felt the weight of it all pressing in. The news cycle feels relentless. Policies targeting trans people seem to sprout up overnight. One day, I’m planning my week around a normal routine — work, gym, maybe brunch with friends — and the next, I’m reading about a new bill threatening access to gender-affirming care in a state I used to call home.

 

Being a trans man in uncertain times isn’t new, but it is exhausting. So how do we navigate it all — the headlines, the microaggressions, the family dinners where we’re still misgendered, the internal pressure to keep showing up when it feels like the ground keeps shifting?

 

I don’t have all the answers, but I’ve picked up a few strategies that have helped me stay grounded when everything feels unstable.

Grounding When Anxiety Visits

Grounding When Anxiety Visits

by Wanda Diep, LCSW

An acute bout of anxiety is anything but cute. In the moment, you might feel intense dread, an indescribable feeling like something terrible is going to happen. Plus, there are the body sensations of sweating, tunnel vision, lightheadedness, shallow breathing, and feeling frozen in place.

The good news is, you’ll be ok. The bad news is, you don’t know that in the moment.

I wrote out some of the common ways I help my clients deal with intense anxiety they might experience when out in their daily life.

Different things may work for you and your nervous system. One person’s clean, white, empty room is another person’s pile of pillows in a dark room with a comfort TV show and sparkling water to distract them. Here are a few steps to try, and then you can personalize them for yourself.

From Survival to Softness: Lessons from The Body Is Not an Apology, Rest Is Resistance, and How to Keep House While Drowning

From Survival to Softness: Lessons from The Body Is Not an Apology, Rest Is Resistance, and How to Keep House While Drowning

by Brianna Patti.

“It can be easier to believe resting is simply about retiring to your bed when you are tired instead of beginning the messy process of deconstructing your own beliefs and behaviors that are aligned with white supremacy and capitalism. You must be committed to studying how training under the abusive teachings of dominant culture has you bound and limited. This is healing work. This is justice work. When we are aligned against the ideas of the oppressive culture, we understand we didn’t arrive on Earth to be a tool for a capitalist system.”

― Tricia Hersey, Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto

Like many therapists, I have a very long list of books that I try to keep up with. This job benefits from constant learning, and I get really excited when a client mentions something that’s directly related to what I’ve read recently. If you’re under the capitalistic spell of hustle culture, body shame, and/or a sense of disappointment about the aesthetics of the clutter in your home, stick with me on this one. 

Understanding Grief: Beyond the Five Stages

Understanding Grief: Beyond the Five Stages

by Sara Stanizai, LMFT

There’s a common, half-joking sentiment that therapists and their clients think “everything is trauma.” I tend to think that everything is grief.

What if power imbalances, trauma, depression, relationship struggles, differentiating from your family, self-esteem, or anything else that brings you therapy was actually related to grief? If you boil down a lot of our pain, it often contains some part of the grieving process. We struggle to adjust to changes and loss in one form or another. And yet, grief is often treated as a mysterious syndrome that we try to avoid but know we can’t.

This isn’t to downplay the extremely painful loss of a loved one. But on a much, much smaller scale, we are often experiencing a version of grief every time we lose something.

Life is Hard, Be Kind: Acceptance & Commitment Therapy for When You Don't Know What to Do.

Life is Hard, Be Kind: Acceptance & Commitment Therapy for When You Don't Know What to Do.

by Tiffany Hooton, LMFT

It seems that every day the ongoing trainwreck that is the current sociopolitical landscape brings me one uneasy step closer to embracing Doomerism - which, if you’ve been lucky to avoid the word, refers to an excessively pessimistic and fatalistic worldview. This may seem a somewhat problematic position for someone working in the mental health field, who is, ostensibly, tasked with assisting others to climb out of their own despair, anxiety, and doubt, but it nonetheless brings into sharp focus the various moral, ethical, and existential dilemmas many of us are grappling with on daily basis:

How do we continue living in an environment that appears to be fundamentally hostile to life? How do we reconcile a belief in human rights and dignity with the reality that a portion of everything you earn funds the very bombs used to destroy the lives of innocent people abroad? How do we protect the communities we care about when we ourselves are powerless? How do we behave morally while engaging in an immoral system?

And, while I certainly don’t know the answer to those questions, I do know that these are moments which challenge us - to reflect, to listen, to act. For people who find themselves frustrated with injustice, mired in feelings of powerlessness, and fearful of the future, this can mean slowing down, learning to regulate their emotions, and getting connected with their values. Below, I’ll share a few tools to do just that:

Banned Words, Trans Lives, and the Stakes of Being “Illegal”

Banned Words, Trans Lives, and the Stakes of Being “Illegal”

by Andrew Kravig

 

Every single day, we hear folks talking about how these are “unprecedented times.” Which is true, of course. These times do feel overly “unprecedented.”  But what does that mean? What does it actually mean, as a lived experience, to chart an existence in a world where there is not an instruction manual or reliable guideposts to help you navigate?

Navigating Inter-cultural Relationships: You Are More Than a Partner

Navigating Inter-cultural Relationships: You Are More Than a Partner

by Sara Stanizai, LMFT

All relationships are inter-cultural. 

We all carry our own personal, familial, cultural, national, spiritual, and other contexts with us as we try to connect with each other. 

Some of these differences are more recognizable than others. While these relationships are often rich in love and learning, they can also present unique challenges that require open communication, empathy, and a keen understanding of power dynamics. 

As a licensed marriage and family therapist and a student of Relational Life Therapy, I often draw upon the principles of RLT to help couples navigate these complexities. 

Burnout and Depression: How to Manage When the World Is Chaos

Burnout and Depression: How to Manage When the World Is Chaos

by Andrew Kravig, AMFT

 

The world can feel like a hellscape right now. That might be putting it mildly. This year (is it only March??) has left many of us feeling overwhelmed, helpless, and exhausted. Everywhere you look there is chaos: the ongoing challenges of climate change, political instability, social injustices, threats of authoritarianism around the globe, handling the constant barrage of news alerts about the next big crisis. Oof. It’s easy to feel as though the world is spiraling out of control. And when combined with the weight of our everyday, personal struggles, we can often find ourselves depleted, utterly drained, both mentally and emotionally. This feeling is something we call often burnout, and especially when paired with depression, it can easily crush our ability to function and stay regulated.

But there are some ways to navigate through these difficult times, rebalance yourself, and perhaps reclaim some energy, so that you can foster your well-being. “Thriving instead of striving” is how my eighth grade Health Class teacher used to put it. (Looking back, she might have known a few things. I should have paid more attention.)

Navigating Self-Care in Tumultuous Times: A Guide for LGBTQ+ Individuals

Navigating Self-Care in Tumultuous Times: A Guide for LGBTQ+ Individuals

To All My Queers  <3

 by Andrew Kravig, AMFT

I don’t know about you, but right now the world around me can feel overwhelming. This day and age can feel impossible as LGBTQ+ individuals, facing societal challenges and discrimination, on top of our daily personal struggles. In such tumultuous times, self-care becomes more than just a luxury; it becomes a vital tool for maintaining emotional, mental, and physical health. But how can LGBTQ+ people prioritize their well-being in a world that sometimes feels hostile? Here are some practical and empowering ways to navigate self-care while honoring your unique identity.

How To Know A Green Flag In Therapy When You See It

How To Know A Green Flag In Therapy When You See It

by Brianna Patti, AMFT

Starting therapy can feel a bit intimidating. With all the different types of therapy and advice floating around, it’s normal to feel confused about what you’re walking into. You might wonder, "What exactly is therapy? Why do some people need it? And how do I know if it’s actually helping me?" These are great questions with nuanced answers. Let’s dive into what therapy is, what it isn’t, and how to tell if it's working for you.

Living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder OCD can feel like a small, personal hell. Even folks without an OCD diagnosis can find themselves caught in obsessive or compulsive cycles that feel maddening to escape. No matter the severity of your struggle with obsessions or compulsions, learning how to navigate and manage them can be life-changing.  

Here are some tips for managing OCD, from a therapist who has been there. 

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