depression
Sara Stanizai
A Pep Talk for Days When Therapy is a Struggle

by Andrew Kravig.

Starting therapy is a brave decision. It means you're choosing to face challenges head-on, work through pain, and seek a healthier, more fulfilling life. But anyone who’s been in therapy knows—it’s not always easy. Real growth takes time, and two of the most important ingredients in that process are committing to do the work and consistency.

We live in a world that rewards quick fixes, fast results, instant gratification, and “life hacks.” But therapy doesn’t work that way. It’s not about getting answers overnight. It’s about learning to understand yourself, change patterns that don’t serve you, and build a more solid foundation for the future. That takes time, and it takes effort. The progress you make may be slow at times, but that doesn’t mean it’s not working.

A Pep Talk for Days When Therapy is a Struggle
neurodivergence
Sara Stanizai
Why We Procrastinate (And How to Outsmart ...

by Tiffany Hooton, LMFT.

Let’s be honest: if procrastination were an Olympic sport, most of us would be gold medalists. We all know the drill—you sit down to write that report due tomorrow, and suddenly, it’s absolutely essential to clean out your sock drawer, reorganize your spice rack, doomscroll,  and check if your cat needs a new Instagram post. Sound familiar?

Procrastination is a sneaky beast. It wears many disguises and often pretends to be “taking a break” or “waiting for the right moment.” But the truth is, it usually ends with us waiting until the eleventh hour, muttering regrets into a cup of stale coffee, or, worse, feeling crappy about ourselves, squashed under the weight of our own anxiety.

So why do we put ourselves through this Sisyphean torture? And more importantly, how can we do something different? Let’s take a look at some of the biggest culprits behind procrastination, and how to fight back (without defenestrating your laptop, or yourself, in the process).

Why We Procrastinate (And How to Outsmart Ourselves)
anxiety
Sara Stanizai
Holding Steady: A Trans Man’s Guide to ...

By Andrew Kravig

 

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably looked around lately and felt the weight of it all pressing in. The news cycle feels relentless. Policies targeting trans people seem to sprout up overnight. One day, I’m planning my week around a normal routine — work, gym, maybe brunch with friends — and the next, I’m reading about a new bill threatening access to gender-affirming care in a state I used to call home.

 

Being a trans man in uncertain times isn’t new, but it is exhausting. So how do we navigate it all — the headlines, the microaggressions, the family dinners where we’re still misgendered, the internal pressure to keep showing up when it feels like the ground keeps shifting?

 

I don’t have all the answers, but I’ve picked up a few strategies that have helped me stay grounded when everything feels unstable.

Holding Steady: A Trans Man’s Guide to Navigating Uncertain Times
anxiety
Sara Stanizai
Grounding When Anxiety Visits

by Wanda Diep, LCSW

An acute bout of anxiety is anything but cute. In the moment, you might feel intense dread, an indescribable feeling like something terrible is going to happen. Plus, there are the body sensations of sweating, tunnel vision, lightheadedness, shallow breathing, and feeling frozen in place.

The good news is, you’ll be ok. The bad news is, you don’t know that in the moment.

I wrote out some of the common ways I help my clients deal with intense anxiety they might experience when out in their daily life.

Different things may work for you and your nervous system. One person’s clean, white, empty room is another person’s pile of pillows in a dark room with a comfort TV show and sparkling water to distract them. Here are a few steps to try, and then you can personalize them for yourself.

Grounding When Anxiety Visits
depression
Sara Stanizai
From Survival to Softness: Lessons from The ...

by Brianna Patti.

“It can be easier to believe resting is simply about retiring to your bed when you are tired instead of beginning the messy process of deconstructing your own beliefs and behaviors that are aligned with white supremacy and capitalism. You must be committed to studying how training under the abusive teachings of dominant culture has you bound and limited. This is healing work. This is justice work. When we are aligned against the ideas of the oppressive culture, we understand we didn’t arrive on Earth to be a tool for a capitalist system.”

― Tricia Hersey, Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto

Like many therapists, I have a very long list of books that I try to keep up with. This job benefits from constant learning, and I get really excited when a client mentions something that’s directly related to what I’ve read recently. If you’re under the capitalistic spell of hustle culture, body shame, and/or a sense of disappointment about the aesthetics of the clutter in your home, stick with me on this one. 

From Survival to Softness: Lessons from The Body Is Not an Apology, Rest Is Resistance, and How to Keep House While Drowning

depression

A Pep Talk for Days When Therapy is a Struggle

A Pep Talk for Days When Therapy is a Struggle

by Andrew Kravig.

Starting therapy is a brave decision. It means you're choosing to face challenges head-on, work through pain, and seek a healthier, more fulfilling life. But anyone who’s been in therapy knows—it’s not always easy. Real growth takes time, and two of the most important ingredients in that process are committing to do the work and consistency.

We live in a world that rewards quick fixes, fast results, instant gratification, and “life hacks.” But therapy doesn’t work that way. It’s not about getting answers overnight. It’s about learning to understand yourself, change patterns that don’t serve you, and build a more solid foundation for the future. That takes time, and it takes effort. The progress you make may be slow at times, but that doesn’t mean it’s not working.

From Survival to Softness: Lessons from The Body Is Not an Apology, Rest Is Resistance, and How to Keep House While Drowning

From Survival to Softness: Lessons from The Body Is Not an Apology, Rest Is Resistance, and How to Keep House While Drowning

by Brianna Patti.

“It can be easier to believe resting is simply about retiring to your bed when you are tired instead of beginning the messy process of deconstructing your own beliefs and behaviors that are aligned with white supremacy and capitalism. You must be committed to studying how training under the abusive teachings of dominant culture has you bound and limited. This is healing work. This is justice work. When we are aligned against the ideas of the oppressive culture, we understand we didn’t arrive on Earth to be a tool for a capitalist system.”

― Tricia Hersey, Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto

Like many therapists, I have a very long list of books that I try to keep up with. This job benefits from constant learning, and I get really excited when a client mentions something that’s directly related to what I’ve read recently. If you’re under the capitalistic spell of hustle culture, body shame, and/or a sense of disappointment about the aesthetics of the clutter in your home, stick with me on this one. 

What to do When Low Moods Last Longer Than Normal

What to do When Low Moods Last Longer Than Normal

It seems like a lot of people are using the internet to diagnose themselves. And it’s a great resource - people should have access to information that is relevant to their health. One of the problems with this deluge of information, however, is that it doesn’t take everyone’s personal experience into account. And before you know it, you could have a list of diagnoses that can do more harm than good.

So how can you tell the difference between regular low moods, and chronic depression?

Experiencing low moods is a natural part of life, but when these feelings persist longer than usual, it can impact various aspects of your life. Understanding how depression and prolonged low moods affect you is essential for managing your mental health. How do these feelings influence personal care, friendships, relationships, work life, and overall happiness. What can you do about it to help yourself, and when will seeing a therapist be helpful?

Disenfranchised Grief: When Loss is Not Acknowledged

Disenfranchised Grief: When Loss is Not Acknowledged

Grief, although often misunderstood, is the natural response to loss.

It’s the name we give to the cluster of emotional, physical, and mental changes we go through when we lose someone or something. The first thing you might think of is someone passing away.

However, there are many, many forms of loss. Some of these instances, when grief goes unnoticed or invalidated, lead to a phenomenon known as disenfranchised grief.

Disenfranchised grief occurs when the loss experienced by an individual is not acknowledged or supported by society, limiting their ability to mourn openly or privately.

The concept of disenfranchised grief was originally coined by Kenneth Doka in his book Disenfranchised Grief: Recognizing Hidden Sorrow. He describes three ways in which grief can be disenfranchised, or disconnected. As you navigate your own relationship to grief, I hope learning about these can be helpful.

How to Get Through the Day When You're Depressed

How to Get Through the Day When You're Depressed

If you have lived with depression for any amount of time, you know the frustrating and exhausting experience of acting like your usual self. Basic tasks take all your energy. You’re irritable, disinterested, and moody. But people seem to only want the “normal” version of you, so you keep this struggle to yourself.

Inside, you can hardly remember the last time you were that person.

Unfortunately, we can’t pause the outside world so we can calm our inner world. Solutions like therapy and medication can be successful, but they take time to work.

Instead of waiting around for your depression to disappear, buy yourself some time by practicing strategies that help you get through the day.

The Least Wonderful Time of the Year: Seasonal Depression and How to Cope with it

The Least Wonderful Time of the Year: Seasonal Depression and How to Cope with it

Cozy sweaters. Hot chocolate. Holidays focused on food and gifts. Waking up to a snow-covered lawn. For some people, winter is the literal best time of year. But it’s a whole different story for the SAD people. The winter months bring about colder weather and shorter days, which means seasonal depression/anxiety or (SAD) seasonal affective disorder for some people.

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How to Find a Therapist

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How to Find a Therapist

Even if you have the resources of time, money, and energy.

And you know what questions to ask.

And your social anxiety/depression/phone dysphoria/stress/overwhelm isn’t getting in the way — it can be really hard to find a therapist.

According to a 2018 study by Mental Health America, California ranks 24th in the nation in terms of prevalence of mental health issues and correlated access to care.

Let's say you've tried everything else. You've spoken to friends and family. You've tried making changes in your habits. You've read every book, or at least every online article about your issue. And you've decided it's time for more individualized, professional help.

You may be completely willing to give therapy a try, but there’s one pressing question: how do you find a therapist?

With so many options, it almost seems too daunting to even try to find one. Fortunately, when you break it down, you can easily find a therapist and get the help you need.

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How to Forge Your Own Path When You Feel Left Behind by Your Peers

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How to Forge Your Own Path When You Feel Left Behind by Your Peers

Does it feel like no matter what you do, you aren’t accomplishing as much as your peers?

If you’re feeling left behind, you aren’t alone. It’s common for everyone to experience this mindset from time to time, especially young people. Early adulthood is a time when many people are exploring their place in the world.

What we don't hear about as often, are the people who later in life are changing careers, exploring their sexuality, or moving to a new city -- without it being framed as a gimmick, an anomaly, or some Under the Tuscan Sun BS.

The truth is, any choice you make deliberately is the right choice for you.

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Straddling two worlds: Fostering Immigrant Communities of Healing

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Straddling two worlds: Fostering Immigrant Communities of Healing

In so many recent conversations, I’ve heard about the specific challenges experienced by immigrant communities and first- and second-generation Americans. Like so many things, putting a name and framework to a cluster of experiences can be immensely healing.

For many of us, we don’t realize the impact of this identity — until we do.

It’s a strange experience trying to pay back an invaluable debt that you didn’t really ask for but very much appreciate.

I spoke with Lindsey Phillips at Counseling Today about what it’s like to work with my community therapeutically. She ended up writing an excellent article about the specific mental health challenges experienced by first- and second-generation Americans and how we can find healing.

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When Self-Care Becomes Self-Sabotage

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When Self-Care Becomes Self-Sabotage

It can be hard to tell, but sometimes our “self-care” routines are bordering on self-sabotage, and they’re not good for us at all. While it is essential to treat yourself from time to time, and also create an environment that isn’t toxic and burning you out, it’s just as important to recognize when your habits start holding you back.

Everyday self-care routines can become harmful if they’re done too frequently, or for the wrong reasons.

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#FirstGenerationProblems: It Matters Where You Come From

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#FirstGenerationProblems: It Matters Where You Come From

Sure, all kinds of parents can be over-protective. Some families may expect you to work (or stay home) depending on your age, gender, or the type of work you want to do. But immigrant communities have an added layer of stress built in, that other people don’t have to contend with. Getting a car or a diploma means so much more to us, and it may not necessarily be seen as a good thing.

Parents are acculturating at a different rate than their kids who are born or raised in America, and they really just want what’s best for you. But the accompanying ambivalence and inner conflict can lead to internalized feelings of unease, and can impact so many aspects of your life and relationships.

Things like choosing a more “palatable” name, only speaking English, choosing an unexpected career, avoiding cultural social circles, or even your romantic preferences are all places this conflict can manifest.

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Add to Cart: What Are You Really Shopping For?

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Add to Cart: What Are You Really Shopping For?

Sometimes, your day just really sucks. So you re-do your most recent Postmates order, put your favorite Broad City episode on for the eighty millionth time, and open up ASOS to look at the new arrivals. Two hours later, you’ve spent all your grocery money for the week on the cute shoes you felt like you absolutely needed. (They sold out last time!)

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What if You Made Friends with Your Depression?

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What if You Made Friends with Your Depression?

If you’ve been living with depression, you have probably tried everything to get rid of it.

It’s not as easy as just “cheering up” or “focusing on the positive,” is it? Well-meaning friends and family love giving this advice, but obviously if you could, you would have by now! Instead, you’ve tried distracting yourself by trying to constantly have fun, avoiding uncomfortable situations and focusing on anything that could be considered “self-care” (whatever that means), or just giving in and staying in bed, hoping it would clear up.

Sometimes that works! But inevitably, it comes back. Then you’re not only depressed, but frustrated that you’ve “let” depression take over again, which makes you even more depressed, irritable, and exhausted.

It’s totally normal to avoid things that make us feel uncomfortable. Whether it’s physical pain like a toothache, or something hitting us in our emotional gut, like a bill we can’t afford to pay. For some, if left unchecked, this can lead to even more depression. Avoidance and procrastination can tend to make things worse, despite the fact that they are usually just coping mechanisms for situations that are overwhelming or feel out of our control.

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How New Traditions Can Help with Holiday Depression

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How New Traditions Can Help with Holiday Depression

If the end-of-the-year holiday traditions are bringing up conflicted feelings for you, you’re not alone. For many people, feelings of nostalgia can bring up regret; trying to create (or re-create) community can feel isolating; and even joyful activities can remind us of old pains that we usually try to ignore.

Anyone who has tried to maintain a holiday tradition in the wake of a loss or major life change can tell you: Trying to keep things as they were is its own kind of torture.

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When to Check on Your Strongest Friend

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When to Check on Your Strongest Friend

We need to feel discomfort first, for it to go away. This doesn’t mean you have to dwell on it for days or weeks. In fact, you’ll be surprised at how even a 20-minute conversation with someone who is listening can ease your pain. Here are some questions you can ask.

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Watching Your Bloopers vs Your Highlights

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Watching Your Bloopers vs Your Highlights

What's more fun? Watching the "highlight reel" or the "blooper reel" of life?

Does it help you personally to relive the times you **nailed it**, or to dissect the times you screwed up? To celebrate your success, or to wallow in your failure? Which is more useful? More educational? More revealing?

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Frustrated That Your Goal-Setting Isn't Working?

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Frustrated That Your Goal-Setting Isn't Working?

If your goal-setting isn't working, it might be because you're focusing on the wrong tasks. Have you ever set a deadline...and then kept moving it? Do you want to be a marathon runner but don't know where to start? Use this guide to figure out how to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

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How to Identify Your Own Toxic Behavior

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How to Identify Your Own Toxic Behavior

Aren't we as adults accountable for our own actions? But then, isn't everyone else responsible for theirs?

I recently spoke with Annamarie Higley at Brit + Co about how to identify our own toxic behavior. I think of this as our secret weapon when we're ready to try therapy.

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I Think I'm Feeling Burnt Out. What Do I Do?

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I Think I'm Feeling Burnt Out. What Do I Do?

No one has a stress-free job (or life), even though some people's Instagram accounts would have you believe that. 

Setting up built-in reinforcements to protect you from routine stress is essential to preventing burn out. We need to decompress, recharge, and get ready for the next challenge.

Convenient to Long Beach and Seal Beach at:

4510 E Pacific Coast Hwy, #540, Long Beach, CA 90804

contact@prospecttherapy.com | (562) 704-4736