depression
Sara Stanizai
A Pep Talk for Days When Therapy is a Struggle

by Andrew Kravig.

Starting therapy is a brave decision. It means you're choosing to face challenges head-on, work through pain, and seek a healthier, more fulfilling life. But anyone who’s been in therapy knows—it’s not always easy. Real growth takes time, and two of the most important ingredients in that process are committing to do the work and consistency.

We live in a world that rewards quick fixes, fast results, instant gratification, and “life hacks.” But therapy doesn’t work that way. It’s not about getting answers overnight. It’s about learning to understand yourself, change patterns that don’t serve you, and build a more solid foundation for the future. That takes time, and it takes effort. The progress you make may be slow at times, but that doesn’t mean it’s not working.

A Pep Talk for Days When Therapy is a Struggle
neurodivergence
Sara Stanizai
Why We Procrastinate (And How to Outsmart ...

by Tiffany Hooton, LMFT.

Let’s be honest: if procrastination were an Olympic sport, most of us would be gold medalists. We all know the drill—you sit down to write that report due tomorrow, and suddenly, it’s absolutely essential to clean out your sock drawer, reorganize your spice rack, doomscroll,  and check if your cat needs a new Instagram post. Sound familiar?

Procrastination is a sneaky beast. It wears many disguises and often pretends to be “taking a break” or “waiting for the right moment.” But the truth is, it usually ends with us waiting until the eleventh hour, muttering regrets into a cup of stale coffee, or, worse, feeling crappy about ourselves, squashed under the weight of our own anxiety.

So why do we put ourselves through this Sisyphean torture? And more importantly, how can we do something different? Let’s take a look at some of the biggest culprits behind procrastination, and how to fight back (without defenestrating your laptop, or yourself, in the process).

Why We Procrastinate (And How to Outsmart Ourselves)
anxiety
Sara Stanizai
Holding Steady: A Trans Man’s Guide to ...

By Andrew Kravig

 

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably looked around lately and felt the weight of it all pressing in. The news cycle feels relentless. Policies targeting trans people seem to sprout up overnight. One day, I’m planning my week around a normal routine — work, gym, maybe brunch with friends — and the next, I’m reading about a new bill threatening access to gender-affirming care in a state I used to call home.

 

Being a trans man in uncertain times isn’t new, but it is exhausting. So how do we navigate it all — the headlines, the microaggressions, the family dinners where we’re still misgendered, the internal pressure to keep showing up when it feels like the ground keeps shifting?

 

I don’t have all the answers, but I’ve picked up a few strategies that have helped me stay grounded when everything feels unstable.

Holding Steady: A Trans Man’s Guide to Navigating Uncertain Times
anxiety
Sara Stanizai
Grounding When Anxiety Visits

by Wanda Diep, LCSW

An acute bout of anxiety is anything but cute. In the moment, you might feel intense dread, an indescribable feeling like something terrible is going to happen. Plus, there are the body sensations of sweating, tunnel vision, lightheadedness, shallow breathing, and feeling frozen in place.

The good news is, you’ll be ok. The bad news is, you don’t know that in the moment.

I wrote out some of the common ways I help my clients deal with intense anxiety they might experience when out in their daily life.

Different things may work for you and your nervous system. One person’s clean, white, empty room is another person’s pile of pillows in a dark room with a comfort TV show and sparkling water to distract them. Here are a few steps to try, and then you can personalize them for yourself.

Grounding When Anxiety Visits
depression
Sara Stanizai
From Survival to Softness: Lessons from The ...

by Brianna Patti.

“It can be easier to believe resting is simply about retiring to your bed when you are tired instead of beginning the messy process of deconstructing your own beliefs and behaviors that are aligned with white supremacy and capitalism. You must be committed to studying how training under the abusive teachings of dominant culture has you bound and limited. This is healing work. This is justice work. When we are aligned against the ideas of the oppressive culture, we understand we didn’t arrive on Earth to be a tool for a capitalist system.”

― Tricia Hersey, Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto

Like many therapists, I have a very long list of books that I try to keep up with. This job benefits from constant learning, and I get really excited when a client mentions something that’s directly related to what I’ve read recently. If you’re under the capitalistic spell of hustle culture, body shame, and/or a sense of disappointment about the aesthetics of the clutter in your home, stick with me on this one. 

From Survival to Softness: Lessons from The Body Is Not an Apology, Rest Is Resistance, and How to Keep House While Drowning

couples therapy

Navigating Gender Norms in LGBTQ+ Relationships: How Couples Therapy Can Help

Navigating Gender Norms in LGBTQ+ Relationships: How Couples Therapy Can Help

By Tiffany Hooton, LMFT.

In today’s world, many queer couples are creating relationships that challenge traditional gender roles and expectations. However, even the most liberated among us can still struggle with shaking off the unconscious pressure of societal norms that creep into our relationships. Whether it's about who initiates intimacy, managing household tasks, gender presentation, or covert expectations around emotional expression. As a result, these unspoken scripts about how people "should" behave in relationships can lead to confusion, tension, or misunderstandings that leave partners feeling frustrated, especially when we don’t realize they’re there. That’s why exploring how these norms impact LGBTQ+ partnerships can be so important (and why couples therapy can be a powerful space for healing, connection, and growth). 

Navigating Inter-cultural Relationships: You Are More Than a Partner

Navigating Inter-cultural Relationships: You Are More Than a Partner

by Sara Stanizai, LMFT

All relationships are inter-cultural. 

We all carry our own personal, familial, cultural, national, spiritual, and other contexts with us as we try to connect with each other. 

Some of these differences are more recognizable than others. While these relationships are often rich in love and learning, they can also present unique challenges that require open communication, empathy, and a keen understanding of power dynamics. 

As a licensed marriage and family therapist and a student of Relational Life Therapy, I often draw upon the principles of RLT to help couples navigate these complexities. 

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Finding Hope and Healing with Couples Therapy and The Gottman Method

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Finding Hope and Healing with Couples Therapy and The Gottman Method

When love starts to fade, communication breaks down, and trust feels damaged beyond repair, it's easy to lose hope. In the midst of conflict and pain, it can feel as though the bond you once shared has been irreparably broken. But there is a way through the darkness. It's a path that requires courage, patience, and a willingness to change. Couples therapy, especially the research-backed Gottman Method, provides the tools and support you need to rebuild a strong, healthy partnership. It offers a lifeline in the storm, a beacon of hope that your relationship can not only survive but thrive once again. By focusing on strengthening the four pillars of a successful relationship – friendship, shared meaning, conflict management, and emotional connection – the Gottman Method offers a roadmap to healing and recovery. It equips couples with the skills and insights to break destructive patterns, rebuild trust, and create a partnership based on respect, understanding, and mutual support.

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Risks and Benefits of Couples Therapy

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Risks and Benefits of Couples Therapy

Couples therapy is a type of counseling that aims to help couples improve their relationship. This type of therapy can be beneficial in a number of ways. First and foremost, couples therapy provides a safe and supportive environment for couples to discuss their issues. This can be especially helpful for couples who struggle with communication. By working with a therapist, couples can learn to communicate more effectively and express their thoughts and feelings in a constructive way.

The Benefits of Trauma Therapy on Couples

The Benefits of Trauma Therapy on Couples

As a Gottman method couples therapist, I have seen firsthand the impact that trauma can have on a relationship. Trauma, whether it be from childhood experiences or more recent events, can leave lasting scars that can affect how we relate to our partners and ourselves. However, I have also witnessed the incredible benefits that trauma therapy can have on relationships. In this blog post, I will explore the ways in which trauma therapy can help couples heal and grow together.

Are Ultimatums in Relationships Ever a Good Idea?

Are Ultimatums in Relationships Ever a Good Idea?

I was asked to contribute to an article at Dame inspired by the Netflix original show, The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On.

I had heard of the show, but didn’t binge watch it until AFTER I contributed to this article. (My opinion didn’t really change after I finally did watch it, though.)

Essentially, I explained that boundaries are limits that we hold ourselves to. Ultimatums are expectations we put on others. And while boundaries preserve relationships, ultimatums threaten them.

What to Do If You Feel Lonely in Your Relationship: 5 Tips from a Therapist

What to Do If You Feel Lonely in Your Relationship: 5 Tips from a Therapist

If you or your partner has changed and not checked in with each other in a while, the love of your life can feel like a stranger. Maybe you stopped having sex or feel like you need to vent about the disconnect to your best friend instead of your partner.

These are pretty good signs it’s time to pause and breathe some new life into your relationship. Here are five tips from a therapist to help you alleviate feelings of loneliness.

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Jealousy in Open Relationships

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Jealousy in Open Relationships

Every relationship requires three huge factors to be successful: communication, trust, and respect. You’re not the only person with skin in the game, so you need to have a level of faith in someone else. You have to believe that they’ll respect you and your boundaries. This can take a lot of work within two people. So how does trust happen in an open or polyamorous relationship?

Many people assume that jealousy doesn’t exist in an open relationship or that people don’t have the right to be jealous when they’re committing to multiple people in various ways. But this forgets a key part of all relationships - hello, there are humans involved! Humans have feelings, needs and wants.

People in open relationships do experience jealousy, and it’s completely valid — but how do you work through these feelings? Especially if you are new to non-monogamy?

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My Loved One is Transgender

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My Loved One is Transgender

When someone important to you reveals this part of their identity, it’s normal to experience a wide range of emotions - from elated to terrified.

Though you may want to be supportive, you might also harbor feelings of rejection, worry, or even anger. Like every other emotion, these feelings aren’t forever. That said, it can certainly feel that way when you’re right in the middle of it.

Although this is new to you, it is not always new to your loved one.

So, how do you cope with these feelings? How can you get to a place of acceptance and understanding instead of fear, anger, or confusion? Depending on your specific situation and relationship to the person, there are different options to help you make sense of your feelings.

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I Still Want to Like You After This: Relationships in Quarantine

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I Still Want to Like You After This: Relationships in Quarantine

The first week or two was OK. It was fun staying in sweatpants. You enjoyed some comfort food. Made a group project out of being sure you had supplies for the time being.

Now you’re getting on each others' nerves a little bit. The cabin fever is setting in, and you're learning more than you thought possible about your partner.

These are stressful times, to be sure. A quarantine of undetermined length can certainly wear on even the strongest relationships. There’s a sentence I didn’t predict I would write. But here we are.

Here are some suggestions for how to maintain a calm and comforting environment with your partner. Bonus: These tips will remain helpful for when we emerge from this pandemic more grateful and appreciative of all our connections. xoxo

Check Your Relationship Health: 4 Indicators for Success

Check Your Relationship Health: 4 Indicators for Success

No relationship is perfect, as no single person is perfect.. But how can you tell if you’re making things better - or making things worse?

Whether your relationship is a few months old or a few decades old, there is never a wrong time to consider your relationship’s health.

No matter what specifically you’re disagreeing about, these are signs that point to strength or weak spots in your relationship.

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Why It Matters: Three Ways LGBTQ+ Affirming Couples Therapy is Different

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Why It Matters: Three Ways LGBTQ+ Affirming Couples Therapy is Different

Couples counseling can benefit any couple, of any age, at any time. But doing therapeutic work with the LGBTQ+ community is different. And I believe it should be.

The representation of couples counseling in mainstream media has focused heavily on cisgender, heterosexual, and monogamous couples. But what about the rest of us? The lack of representation shouldn’t dissuade you from getting the help your relationship needs.

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Why Happy Couples Go To Therapy

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Why Happy Couples Go To Therapy

When you think about the type of couples that go to therapy, you’re likely conjuring up an image of partners trying to work through adultery, or those who have even more serious problems. But that’s not always the case.

While it is true that you definitely should go to a therapist if you are having trouble with your partner, the real answer to “should my partner and I go to couple’s therapy?” is always yes. Read on to find out how therapy can benefit even the happiest couples.

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The Only One-Sided Relationship You Should Ever Have

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The Only One-Sided Relationship You Should Ever Have

If you’re reading this, chances are your relationships often feel one-sided, like you are the only one doing the heavy lifting, listening, connecting, reaching out, being supportive, while the other person just never seems to reciprocate.

How to Tell if your Partner Respects You

How to Tell if your Partner Respects You

Couples sometimes panic when they start having the same disagreement over and over again. They're worried it's a sign of a fundamental mismatch in their relationship. They may avoid the disagreement to avoid potentially ending the relationship. But that makes things worse!

I spoke with Jamie Kravitz at Elite Daily a few weeks ago about how to tell if your partner respects you. I believe that almost any relationship can be improved, and a disagreement (even a frustrating, recurring one) doesn't necessarily mean the end. 

It's OK to go to Bed Angry

It's OK to go to Bed Angry

You're the type that wants to solve the issue right away. You don't like letting things linger. You want to get to the bottom of it and make sure it doesn't happen again. Maybe you're secretly worried that you can't work through this? So you keep at it, determined to resolve it. 

Convenient to Long Beach and Seal Beach at:

4510 E Pacific Coast Hwy, #540, Long Beach, CA 90804

contact@prospecttherapy.com | (562) 704-4736